Drash on Vayeitzei 2024

Rabbi Allison Conyer

Temple Beth Israel

This week’s parsha, Vayetzei, is filled with mystery, deceit, betrayal, despair, and faith. The parsha continues the tale of our nascent people’s saga through the eyes of our protagonist, Jacob – next in line to carry the brit, our sacred covenant with G-d.

After fleeing his parents’ home under duress, Jacob embarked on a journey reminiscent of his grandfather Abraham’s, venturing into the unknown. Along the way, he encountered love at first sight, deceit at the hands of his uncle, Lavan, prosperity through hard work, and ultimately a family that ultimately formed the backbone of our people’s lineage. By the end of the parsha, Jacob emerged with two wives, two maidservants, 13 children, and an abundance of streaked, spotted and speckled livestock. He also found himself once again on the run—this time with his family, the strength of his faith and the knowledge of his Divine protection.

While Vayetzei is filled with profound lessons and dramatic moments, I’m going to focus on the untold perspectives of the women in this story, particularly Rachel. Her journey is one of quiet strength, resilience, and inner struggle. From the moment she met Jacob, a stranger with unusual kindness, Rachel’s life changed. His tender kiss and unprovoked tears sparked a whirlwind of joy, apprehension, and confusion, as her destiny began to take shape.

And so, commences my midrash

Seeing this handsome stranger enter their tent, Rachel’s older sister, Leah, waited expectantly for her moment, her time to become the woman she had been trained to be as this man’s wife. Upon hearing Jacob’s declaration of “love” for Rachel, she ran away, crying and deflated.

Rachel remained in place, shocked as she listened to her father negotiating her future for seven years of Jacob’s employment. She was overwhelmed with conflicting emotions – joy and delight that this man – Jacob – with kind eyes and a gentle heart said that he “loved” her (even though he did not know her), devastated that, unintentionally, she became the cause of her sister’s heartache, and confused that her father and Jacob would negotiate her marriage without consulting her.

For seven years, as Rachel and Jacob stole fleeting moments together, lost in their revelry of their life-to-be, her father and sister were making other plans. The night before the wedding, Lavan, took Rachel aside for what she imagined was to be their last pep talk before she became Jacob’s wife. Instead, she was told of her father’s plan for Leah to marry Jacob in her place. Rachel protested, “But he loves ME! This isn’t fair!” From the doorway, Leah had a smirk on her face and turned away to prepare for her wedding night. Rachel ran out of room, crying and deflated.
Rachel did not attend the wedding, but heard the next morning that Jacob was furious. Suddenly, her father came to tell her that Jacob negotiated a new deal to marry Rachel as well. As well?

Jacob and Rachel were finally united. And she felt loved and vindicated. Just as Rachel’s heart began to heal, her sister, Leah, announced her pregnancy and gave birth to a son. Aware that she was the “unloved wife” who had resorted to deception to marry, Leah convinced herself that bearing children would win her husband’s love. But this was not to be. Child after child, son after son – each carrying the hope of love and affection, each a blessing despite his mother – failed to change Jacob’s regard for Leah.

For Jacob’s heart belonged to Rachel. And yet, regardless of Jacob’s overt favouritism and love showered upon her, Rachel continued to feel inadequate as a woman, for she was unable to provide her husband a child. Rachel’s despair reached its peak when she pleaded with Jacob, “Give me children, or I shall die.” Her desperation underscored the weight of societal and personal expectations. In her pain, she offered her maidservant, Bilhah, as a surrogate, beginning a “battle of the babies” between Leah, and their maidservants, Bilhah and Zilpah, who also bore children to Jacob. Each birth struck Rachel’s soul like a sledgehammer, a painful reminder of her inadequacy, each child reinforcing her sense of worthlessness. No amount of Jacob’s love could arouse Rachel from her despair.

Finally, “G-d remembered Rachel” (Gen. 31:22), and she gave birth to Joseph, declaring, “G-d has taken away my disgrace” (Gen. 31:23).   In Joseph, Rachel found a sense of vindication and purpose. He became the apple of her eye, the symbol of her future. Nothing else mattered.

Her joy was soon tempered when Jacob decided to flee Lavan’s household. Once again, Rachel found herself conflicted, finally content, and yet soon to be uprooted without consultation. Again, her fate appeared to be in the hands of two men.

Rachel did the only thing she could think of to gain a sense of control. She snuck into her father’s home and stole her father’s idol. Although it was a symbol of her childhood, it lost its personal value long ago. Instead, her small act of rebellion was her subtle way of having the last word, reminding the men not to underestimate her. It served as a symbolic assertion of agency in a life where so much had been beyond her control.

Rachel’s story, alongside Leah’s, teaches profound lessons about resilience, faith, and self-worth. Despite their rivalries and struggles, both women ultimately learn that joy and fulfillment cannot come from external validation alone but must be cultivated within. Rachel’s story, filled with love, loss, and redemption, inspires us to find the strength to balance faith with courage and patience with action to shape our own destinies.