Drash on Parashat Ki Tisa 2025

Rabbi Allison RH Conyer

Temple Beth Israel

The Power and Consequences of Unchecked Emotions
Fun fact about emotions. All emotions serve an evolutionary purpose—even so-called “negative” ones. Fear heightens awareness, protecting us from threats. Depression, when adaptive, slows the body and mind, helping to filter distractions and focus on problem-solving. These emotions become maladaptive when prolonged or when they drive dysfunctional behaviours.

For example, anxiety can generate nervous energy that fuels productivity, or it can spiral into panic and avoidance. Depression can provide a necessary pause for reflection or lead to lethargy and isolation. Maladaptive emotions often trigger secondary emotions like anger, which, in its healthy form, signals threats and motivates change. However, unchecked anger can become destructive when used to dominate others or suppress deeper emotions.

So, what does all of this psychoeducation have to do with us right now? I’ll give you a hint – the answer lies in the common ground between Parshat Ki Tissa and the Purim story (aside from both being read this week). What does the sin of the Golden Calf and Haman’s plot to eradicate the Jews have in common? Both narratives offer powerful insights into human emotions and highlight key figures who, when faced with fear or uncertainty, illustrate how unchecked emotions—anger, insecurity, and overreaction—can lead to destruction.

In our Torah portion this week, the Israelites become anxious over Moses’ delay on top of Mt. Sinai. Their impatience quickly transforms into insecurity which leads them to create the Golden Calf, betraying their covenant with God. God’s initial response is to destroy the Israelites entirely (Exodus 32:10), but Moses intercedes, demonstrating how restraint can avert disaster. However, when Moses descends the mountain and sees the false idol the people created, Moses is overcome with his own anger and shatters the Divinely inscribed tablets (Exodus 32:19). This reaction carries lasting consequences, not only a rupture in their relationship with God, but also the deaths of many Israelites.

The story warns of the dangers of unrestrained anger but also highlights the power of patience and mediation.

Similarly, the Purim story revolves around emotional overreaction. King Achashverosh, driven by insecurity, banishes Queen Vashti in a moment of anger (Esther 1:12). Haman’s fury over Mordechai’s defiance (Esther 3:5) escalates into a genocidal plot. His insecurity and need for validation fuel his downfall, as the gallows he builds for Mordechai become his own demise.

King Achashverosh, driven by insecurity, reacts with extreme anger when Queen Vashti refuses his command to show off her beauty in front of his drunken comrades, banishing her permanently (Esther 1:12). Similarly, his advisors feared that the Queen’s refusal would change the social order of their society (Esther 1:16-17). The King and his advisors’ rash decision changes the course of his kingdom.

Likewise, Haman, consumed by rage when Mordechai refuses to bow to him (Esther 3:5), allows his insecurity to spiral into genocidal hatred. Ultimately, his unchecked emotions lead to his downfall—the gallows he builds for Mordechai become his own fate (Esther 8:7; 9:2-10). The story acknowledges that even justified actions can have unintended consequences.

In contrast, Mordechai and Esther demonstrate patience and strategy. Rather than reacting impulsively to Haman’s decree, they plan carefully, ultimately securing salvation for their people. Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks highlights this contrast, noting that “where Haman saw threats, Mordechai and Esther saw opportunities,” teaching us that fear and anger should not dictate our actions.

Maimonides teaches that anger is akin to idol worship and warns against giving in to destructive emotions (Hilchot De’ot 2:3). Instead, the Rambam advocates for the “golden mean” – a balanced approach where emotions are controlled rather than controlling us.

Both Parshat Ki Tissa and Purim remind us that anger and insecurity, if left unchecked, can lead to destruction. These narratives highlight the necessity of self-restraint. Moses’ anger led to the shattered tablets. Achashverosh’s impulsivity resulted in rash decisions. Haman’s insecurity and arrogance destroyed him. In contrast, Esther and Mordechai demonstrated strategic patience which ultimately led to redemption. Their actions remind us that, when faced with fear or frustration, we can choose measured responses over impulsive reactions. Our wise tradition reminds us that unchecked emotions can lead to ruin; however,  when channelled wisely, they can be forces for positive change. The challenge is to pause, reflect, and choose a path of repair rather than destruction.